HOW TO ANNOY OUR FAVORITE VAMPIRES
by ireadway2much
Summary: These aren't just lists for those little vampire friends of mine, but the whole twilight gang! join me on my quest to find what would really tick them off!
1. Alice

** buh buh duu!! haha So I was searching through stories a while ago and I found this story by Cynicism and Happiness! yay it was Ten ways to Annoy the heck outta HP characters. So I reviewed on her story getting a kick outta it, and in my review I started talking about how I would annoy Twilight characters. So Cynicism and Happiness told me I should make a How to annoy the Twilight Characters story... here it is!!**

Our first victim...

ALICE!

1. Keep changing your mind

2. Say you hate shopping

3. GET THE WEREWOLVES INVOLVED!

4. Tell her, her clothes are soo out of style!

5. Play rock paper scissors with her, but keep changing your mind on what you will play.

6. go up to her yelling "I KNOW SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T!" after getting back from hanging with the wolves

7. When she's concentrating really hard, whisper-yell to someone. "Shh! She's sleeping!"

8. When she is concentrating on something from the future knock on her head and ask "Anyone home?"

9. Show her this list... she won't see that coming!

10. ask her: "Since you see the future and all could you tell me, How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck coule chuck wood?" see what she says

**I don't know about you but I think some of the things on this list are kinda funny!!**

**Lots of laughs**

**LMSJM**


	2. Edward

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa!**

Our second victim!!

EDWARD!

1. Say a bunch of random stupid stuff in your head!

2. Tell him to SLOW DOWN!! when he hasn't even started the car.

3. sing "I know a song that gets on every body's nerves" in your head over and over and over!!

4. Call him Eddie-kins

5. Start singing "Bella and Jacob sittin in a tree K I S S I N G..."

6. Jump over the boundary line and back then over and back singing "No vampires allowed! Nah nah nah nah nah naaaahhhh!!"

7. Go up to him and say out of no where "I'm a dog lover." then walk away snickering

8. do number seven then walk away gushing about how Jacob and Bella should be together.

9. After he answers a question right in school yell "WHAT DOES HE KNOW?! HE'S DEAD!!" then run away screaming

10. 'Sneak' up behind him and start poking him thinking "Poke. Poke."

**Dude how retarded am I?? very!! but it's very very funn!!**


	3. Bella

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa!**

Our third victim!!

BELLA!!

1. Flirt shamelessly with Edward

2. Take her shopping!

3. Complain how slow her truck is then laugh at her response

4. encourage Mike to ask her out on the day of her wedding

5. Tell Mike she likes him.

6. Tap her on the shoulder and whisper (with Edward sitting next to her) "I can hear what you're thinking.. MUHAHAHA" then laugh as her cheeks blaze. (as an added bonus you get to annoy Edward as well)

7. Constantly remind her that there is air around to trip her, then when she falls say. "There's some air there..."

8. Walk around like a zombie saying "Edward! EDWARD!"

9. Point and laugh at her for no apparent reason.. she hates attention

10. Make a barking and howling noise crying out "Jake! Jake! Come here boy!!"

**Surprisingly Bella was harder to do than Edward... hope its still funny! help! I wanna do Emmet next... i have... nothing he is hard to annoy cuz he takes everything as a joke! arg! lol any suggestions!?**


	4. Jacob

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa!**

Our forth victim!!

JACOB!!

1. Yell out "Here doggy doggy doggy." when he's in perfect earshot.

2. sneak a dog bone into his lunch bag.

3. Walk past him singing "Shoes" from the you tube video.

4. If you end up having to pass newspapers around the class for a current events assignment make sure Jake gets the one about the dog bones that look like toothbrushes. whispering "It was implied" in a souther accent.

5. Give him doggy shampoo for his birthday,

6. Help Charlie put up posters while Jake is missing, but cross out boy and put in dog.

7. Tell your best friend you prefer your men cold and dead with Jacob in earshot.

8. Dress up as a vampire on Halloween and go to his house saying in a accent "I vant to suck your vlood." showing your awesome fangs

9. Convert the words in the "Shoes" song to "Vampires rule! Werewolves suck!" then sing it to him.

10. Tell him that the only way he could have Bella is if he killed Edward, then that he can't kill Edward because He's already dead. Then call Jake a retard before walking away laughing you a off

**Surprisingly Bella was harder to do than Edward... hope its still funny! help! I wanna do Emmet next... i have... nothing he is hard to annoy cuz he takes everything as a joke! arg! lol any suggestions!?**


	5. Emmett

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! Some of these were made up by xx . Mari . xx**

Our fifth victim!!

EMMMET!!

1. Never laugh at any of his jokes but laugh at everything else he says cutting him off

2. When he's angry or upset ask "Is it that time of month?"

3. When he's walking in the hallway point and scream "RUN ITS THE HULK!!" then run away laughing your head off

4. Have a hamburger in front of him and treasure every bite making it look delicious.

5. Call him in the middle of the night saying "I see you." then hang up laughing as you watch him panic

6. Tell Emmet a dumb blonde joke knowing he will repeat it to Rose and get in bunches of trouble

7. When your walking in the woods or somewhere around them suddenly turn and yell "Bare!"

8. If you see him out in the sunlight point and say "Shiny..." then act like you're drooling watch him wet himself from laughing

9. Every time he turns away from you poke his Jeep thinking 'Poke. Poke.' (Edward of coarse will be laughing with you)

10. Run to him yelling "EMMETT EMMETT!!" when he is in the middle of something then when you have his attention say "Hi. " then run away in the opposite direction.

**Yeah the ones that weren't mine prolly sucked but OH WELL! It was fun to write! next is... JASPER!!**


	6. Jasper

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

Our SIXTH victim!! (this is getting tiring no more victim thing)

JASPER

1. Run in circles to get all hyped up and then turn to Jasper and get all mad then happy then hyper then sad. Watch him get the biggest headache in the world!!

2. Yell at him saying "Stop copying me!!"

3. Poke yourself asking if Jasper can feel your poke... if not... poke him. (Make sure you are happy so he wont go away cuz he'll be happy you're poking him! until u leave that is lol)

4. Embarrass Bella big time and then watch to see if Jasper goes pink to..

5. Get Emmett excited about a prank

6. Get Alice excited... need I say more?

7. Cause a bunch of Drama at school

8. Ask Emmett to put his finger in an electric socket then ask Jasper how he feels

9. Laugh at my lame things to annoy Jasper...

10. Show him how annoying we humans can be...

**Well this sucked... lol next is MIKE!! oh I would love to torture him... but my updates have to stop today cuz my mom wants me off the computer**


	7. Mike

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

MIKE!

1. Tell him Bella wants him to kiss her, then watch Edward break his jaw. (mean? yes. funny? hilarious!)

2. Tell him that Edward got plastic surgery, then see if he either gets plastic surgery himself or tells Bella and makes a fool of himself.

3. Tell him that Edward wants to meet him after school in the parking lot, then watch him as he sits in the parking lot doing stupid things waiting for Edward to never show. (Dude I bet he would talk to himself and try to act al tough the next day only to realize he had been set up!)

4. Wanna see his face change different colors?... Tell him Bella's marrying Edward.

5. Tell him Edward's a Vampire then laugh as he faints

6. poke him... over and over and over and over during a test and when he freaks out and yells "WHAT?!" watch his face as he gets detention. Then snicker quietly

7. Flirt with him, ask him out, stand him up... again and again and again... cuz u know he will keep saying yes

8. Flirt with him then act like you're going to kiss him then take super glue and glue his mouth that way!

9. Do the same thing as eight except glue a picture of Edward and Bella to his face (talk about "get the picture?" lol)

10. Follow him around like he does to Bella, but make annoying sounds the whole time

**There were too many ideas... and I think I chose my worst... lol I love beating myself up !! yay!! lol**


	8. Rosalie

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

Out of popular request...

ROSALIE!!

1. Flip you hair and strut down the hallway mocking her

2. Flirt with Emmett (-caution- may want to be vampire when you do this to avoid injury)

3. Dye her hair... BLACK!

4. do number three AND put a bunch of goth make-up on her (this would have to be done with vampire restraints to help)

5. Next time she acts all full of herself say ".. and that's why you never got Edward."

6. When she's walking... trip her... and say "I guess sometimes even the best of us FALL off the wagon." then laugh

7. Sign her up for the Queen Bee show thing (its where they take the meanest people that are signed up by their friends or family to get an attitude adjustment.

8. Tell her her outfit makes her look fat.

9. Replace her mirror with one that throw insults at you.

10. when you see her first thing in the morning point and yell "IS THAT A ZIT!" then if she checks laugh your arse off, hello vampires don't get zits!! lol

**I think this one is funny, tell me what you think!! please!!**


	9. Jessica

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

JESSICA!

1. Poke her puffy hair... "I've always wondered if she would be able to feel it... I mean its so Curly!" (say that to the person next to you as you poke) p.s don't forget to think 'poke. poke.'

2. Never stop talking and when she complains say "Remind you of anyone?" then laugh in her face when she gets all confused

3. Tell Tyler she likes him

4. Tell Mike to ask Bella out... make sure Jessica's there.

5. Talk to her about how it's a good thing Edward didn't choose her because Bella is sooo much better

6. Go into zombie mode around her, all the time

7. Force her to go with Bella to Port Angelos and dress up as a creepy dude by a bar, then go over and scare the crap out of her by stalking them (make sure Bella and Edward are in on this)

8. Tell her how annoying she is and it's only fair that we get to annoy her.

9. Show her this list and how many people that have seen it and laughed saying all these ideas are funny and that they wish they could do them.

10. Say everything she's about to say


	10. the long awaited CARLISLE!

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! most made up by klutzygirl34! WE ES GONNA MISS YA WHILE U ES GONE!! (lol happy??)**

CARLISLE!

1. replace his medical books with sports illustrated

2. replace his tools with children's toys

3. tell alice he wants a makeover,

4. replace his clothes with nurses outfits and take his wallet so he can't buy more

5. If you are on of his patients hen he enters the room point to him and say "I see dead people."

6. Take his stethoscope and put it up to his heart and ask "Where is the thump thump??" watch him freak out and laugh

7. Take his stethoscope and put it on his heart and ask "Is it cold?"

8. Run around the hospital screaming "I'M DYING! I'M DYING!" then run up to Carlisle and whisper, "Bite me."

9. Gasp and slap his hand away when he tries to take a sample of your blood saying "Woof! you blood stealer!" then jump on the ground and act like a dog. (added bonus? Annoy the hellos outta Eddy boy to.)

10. The one time he loses a patient go up to him and say very seriously "I think it was Aro." see what he does...

**THANK YOU KLUTZY FOR HELPING ME!! (and Take that Edward!) P hope you guys enjoyed this chappie!!**


	11. Esme

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! this one's for everyone that wanted me to do Esme next!**

Esme!

1. Tell Emmett that she wanted some of the furniture moved... outside... (door will be in ruins and so will the couches)

2. Give Emmett a pet spider,

3. Destroy Edward's piano

4. Come on a day where everything is chaos and turn and say "You shoulda stayed dead." (be warned.. YOU might end up dead)

5. Flirt shamelessly with Carlisle

6. Curl her hair to the point where she looks like a troll doll. (alice will be annoyed as well)

7. break almost everything in the house

8. destroy or steal all her cleaning supplies

9. ruin her garden.

10. get permanent marker and mark the whole back windows of the house

**Yeah not my best work but kinda funny.. and mean... well I have the chance to annoy mike right now and I took it... sorry klutzygirl...**


	12. Charlie

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

Charlie!

1. Rig his siren so that it plays the wheels on the bus

2. Hide in the back seat of his car and when he comes in make wolf noises

3. Lay a positive prengnancy test on Bella's bed

4. Replace his gun with a water gun

5. Run up to him and whisper "I know your secret." then run away laughing MUHAHAHA!!

6. Tell him Renee is coming over for a nice home cooked meal

7. Tell Charlie to ask if he can feed Renesmee

8. Tell him to check out the Cullen's house on a sunny day

9. Stalk him relentlessly

10. Jump in the ocean yelling "CANNON BALL!" while he's fishing

**I had special help with this chap!! and if ya wanna chat some time just add gidiegirl to your AIM or ireadway2much to your meebo. If u dont have a meebo its easy to get NO DOWNLOADING NEEDED! only takes two seconds to sign up!**


	13. Angela

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

Angela!

1. Get on your knees and wobble up to her screaming "GIANT!!"

2. Tell her she talks too much

3. Interupt her every time she starts talking with a very loud "HI!" waving your hand in her face

4. Harass her with the all famous akward turtle!

5. Force her to be social

6. Add her to a chat room

7. Get Alice to give her a personality and full MAKEOVER!!

8. Flirt with Ben

9. Scream "IT'S THE WICKED WITCH!!" and run

10. In a nah nah nah nah nah tone tell her "Jessica is better!!"

**I had special help with this chap!! and if ya wanna chat some time just add gidiegirl to your AIM or ireadway2much to your meebo. If u dont have a meebo its easy to get NO DOWNLOADING NEEDED! only takes two seconds to sign up!**


	14. Jane

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

JANE!

1. Provoke Jane so that she will try to use her powers on you, have Bella around to block her from your mind and smile when she tries to hurt you saying "Ouch! Thats not very nice." in a mocking tone.

2. If you ever end up in a fight with Jane and you dont have your mind protected. When she uses her powers on you yell "CHEATER!"

3. When you see Jane (and she isnt torturing you) fall to the floor suddenly and scream-covering your eyes- "IT BURNS!" **(hopefully you all get that you are insulting her looks by doing this :)**

4. Have Alec use his powers on her... hehe

5. When she uses her powers on you have Bella hidden from her and stand there asking "Is that all you got?" then laugh

6. Skip around her while Bella is protecting you and sing "You can't touch me! You can't touch me!" then stick out your tongue childishly

7. Provoke the Voltri and blame her... **(Yes this IS based off a bumper sticker on facebook)**

8. Set her on fire when she's not looking

9. Make her think she is seeing things.. then blame her power

10. GIVE HER A TASTE OF HER OWN MEDICINE!

**Yeah i know i could be funnier... but its raining here in my little... big town. But i was asked to do Jane in a recent review so I made this list for that reviewer.. sorry i havent been updating much : (**

LMSJM


	15. Sam

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

SAM!

1. Go over to his and Emily's home and look at Emily then stare at Sam screaming "ABUSIVE!" then run like your life depends on it **(yeah this is a really mean thing.. but it would annoy him)**

2. Spray paint "Alfa-wanna-be" on his back when he is sleeping

3. Go up to him, looking him up and down saying "No wonder they left your pack... Jake is MUCH hotter." then laugh and skip away

4. Run past his house when he is home screaming "WEREWOLF POSER!" then throw a bunch of dog biscuts in his yard.

5. Do the dog pooh in the burning bag thing.. with a note next to it saying "My yard!" **(some of you may not get this.. but dogs claim their territory with their pee and poo. Plus i stole the quote from Shaggy Dog)**

6. Get Emily in on this "joke". When he enters the house slam the bedroom door and start screaming and arguing with Emily, then when he enters the room have it seem like She is turning into a werewolf. (Watch his face as he begins to think he imprinted on a relative.)

7. If he ever takes something form you or sont do something you ask him then say "Do it/give it back or I'll chop off your tail!" (make sure he's in human form when this is said) then when he looks back at his tailess tush say "I told you." **(special thanks to my friend.. but she probably wont read this anyway.. still)**

8. In his sleep have Emily put a dog collar on him and then a leash. Then have her wake him up at like 3 in the morning and say "Time for your walk!"

9. Put a bunch of cats in his house when he isn't home.. videotape his reaction then send it in to AFV

10. Have alice dress you up like a vampire.. then go over to his house and bite him. Lets see if he freaks out shall we? **(for those who don't know, vampire venom is poiseness to shapeshifters/werewolves)**

**Hope you liked this chapter.. it was kind of hard because sam isn't a really round character but i did as best i could with what i had.. and tried not to copy anything i used with Jake**

LMSJM


	16. 911

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

**Hi so this is not an actual update.. this is a tribute to the heros and survivors of 9/11. Here is what  
I experienced on that dreadful day in 2001: (i was in 3rd grade)  
**

**I sat and watched the live tragedy, the first plane hit, people where screaming. Panicking. And Afraid. They were not the only ones, millions of Americans must have felt the same pain, and shared the same fear with their brothers and sisters. I felt a replica of the terror shoot down my spine as I remembered my dad was supposed to go to Boston that day, on a business trip. I wanted to cry, I prayed he was alright.. little did I know it did not stop at just one plane.  
I watched as the second plane hit..  
I watched the second explosion..  
I watched history being created...  
I watched the hatred for Americans boil over...  
I watched many die...  
I watched heros being made..  
I watched the worst terrorist act in history...  
I watched the states become one...  
I watched an event that would stick with me the rest of my life..  
I saw what happened on 9/11..  
Did you?**

Though it is no longer 9/11 I hope you all keep those families who had lost someone on that dreadful day in your prayers and thoughts. After you read this please pause for a moment of silence in honor of all those who endured 9/11. Those who died, those who lived, and those who have been scarred from the events..

**LMSJM**


	17. Leah

**lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalalalallallallaaaa! **

LEAH!

1. Lock her in a room at the Cullen's and videotape her actions in the room and send it to AFV

2. Shave her head while she's sleeping.. you'll get to see your first bald werewolf!

3. Stick sedation pills in her food and watch her fall asleep into her meal, film it and send it to Animal Planet (have a Steve Erwin voice in the background saying "Oh and there she goes.. Beautiful!")

4. Constantly remind her she isn't very high on the importance list in the pack and everytime she tries to say something during a pack meeting have Jake say, "Shut up! No one cares!"

5. Have someone in the pack say "Oh my gosh!! Shut up no one gives a shiz about your stupid Sam problems!!"

6. Have her go on a double date with Sam, Emily and Jake

7. Have a vampire run all through her room touching all her belongings when she isn't home

8. Dye her hair blonde and tell her it totally fits her personality.

9. When she's sleeping put Esme's clothes on her and dye her hair grey and have Nessie go through the whole Red riding hood scene. when she wakes

10. Tell her that her wolf form has grey fur because she is soo unbearably dull.

**I had help with this chap from my friends at school!! thanks guys! oh and thank you for your points of view of 9/11 I read over what i put up and for anyone who is curious, my dad is still alive. His flight was thankfully delayed. Please review and tell me what you think :)**

**LMSJM**


	18. TANYA!

**Sooo it's been a while, because I really couldn't think of any new characters. But today I decided that I should look up all the characters I've missed… there's a lot! and it's not even all of them. So here is something for the Denali clan!**

**BUMMBUMMBUMMMMM!**

TANYA!

1. Ask her, "So how does it feel knowing that it took a weak plain human 2 years to get what you've wanted for forever?"

2. This is just a comment to make… "WHO THE HELL HAS STRAWBERRY BLONDE HAIR?…. seriously what is that? Some pinkish yellow? Did someone throw up their cotton candy and lemonade after the tea cup ride?"

3. "I prefer my men cold, dead, and sparkling. You apparently like them cold, dead, and married." snicker and run.

4. At the wedding lean over and tell her, "I hear Jacob's available." then she'll give you a look and you say, "Hey if you can't have that," point to Edward, "Then you might as well go to the dogs." shrug and turn away from her. (she seems like she would be a character with a lot of pride.)

5. Let's say she's trying to make a conversation with you, hold up your hand and tell her. "Sorry, I prefer brunettes."

6. "Seriously though… why the strawberry blonde?"

7. "Okay so your sisters have mates, one was killed, and your mom is dead too….Where does that leave you?"

8. "Franky the Frowning Clown called…. he wants his hair color back."

9. At the wedding tell her, "Hey, it's a good thing he didn't want you. Who would want a guy that drives some sissy ass volvo?"

10. "You know before he met Bella, they all thought he was gay…. Where the hell was your brain?"

**Yeah, not my best work, but she's a minor character so I don't know what exactly I can annoy her with besides edward…. and her hair.. i mean really though what the hell is strawberry blonde?**


	19. THE WORST CHAPTER EVER! HERES LAUREN!

**Hi again! It's been too long so I'm going to try to finish two more chapters! wooT!**

**BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM!**

LAUREN! (hey… that's my name!)

1. This would be around new moon, when Bella is coming back from zombalicious mode… "Okay, in the first book your a bitch with long blonde hair. In the second book, you're a bitch with…. well I wouldn't call that buzz cut _short hair_, it's more of an 'I'm desperate for attention!' look. Hey! Maybe you and Mike could be twins!"

2. Go up to her and whisper, "I know how you can win Tylers' heart." she'll look all eager and happy, "Let him hit you with his car." Her face will fall, and you may laugh and think about how she would need a vampire first.

3. Follow her around all day telling a bunch of blonde jokes. Then apologize for using her life experiences to get a laugh.

4. After the whole modeling failure tell her, "It's okay! They always use the insecure rejects of Edward Cullen to scam."

5. Walk around poking her thinking 'Poke. Poke.' and snicker along with Edward.

6. Yell, "OH MY CARLISLE! DISTRACTION!" really fast and point in some random direction. Then laugh as she falls for it and you receive weird looks from the Cullen kids.

7. *sigh* It's easier to annoy vampires, all realize that?

8. yell, "INDISTRUCTOR!" and take a heroic pose, it may not annoy her, but it will probably scare the shiznick outta her.

9. Let's say she messes up on something, you know everyone's excuse. "Well, I'm only human." lets assume she says that…. "You stupid humanoid… go eat dirt."

10. Lauren: HOLY CRAP THERE'S A LIST ABOUT HOW TO ANNOY ME? NO WAY! I FEEL SO LOVED!

You: …. good… because the reality is.. you ain't….

**"OME! no way!"**

**"What's O. M. E.?"**

**"Oh my Edward…"**

**"Why?"**

**"Because….."**

**"Because…?"**

**"Because, because! Because of the wonderful things he does!" (singing)**

**Yes! this was one of the worst chapters ever! its hardly funny. because..… well because the name Lauren is just evil like that! RAWR! (means please review in dinosaur!)**


	20. RENEE!

**!**

RENEE!

1. "Haha… she called you 'harebrained'."

2. Some people prefer living under a rock… Renee… well she prefers living like a 5year old who can drink. (don't drink and drive!)

3. Go up to her and ask, "Aren't you one of those 'Where are my glasses?' moms? You know the ones who go around the house looking for something that's already in their hand?" she looks at you confused. "Yeah, well anyway.. I'm a big fan."

4. "Congrats on the 500th time of losing your keys!" smile and lean closer to her, "They're in your pocket by the way…"

5. **You: **You know, maybe you should try a key finder.

**Renee: **I did...

**You: **What happened?

**Renee:** … I lost it…

**You: **….

6. "Psst! psst!" get her attention, "Phils a lycan." she looks confused, "Ask your daughter about it…"

7. **Me: **You know what I've realized?

**Renee:** What?

**Me: **This is becoming more of a "That would just be a funny thing to do" story.

**Renee: **?

**Me:** It's supposed to be a "How to" story.

**Renee: **"How to" what?

**Me: **Annoy.

**Renee: **Well thank goodness!

**Me: **?

**Renee: **I get to escape the "annoy"

9. ES-KA-PAY! ESCAPE! (Renee and I love you dori!)

10. **Me:** Let's watch "Finding Nemo." again

**Renee: ***unhappy sigh* fine..

**Me:** What's wrong?

**Renee:** How many times do we have to find Nemo? I mean really, why don't they just give him a locator chip thingy?

**Me:** …. surprisingly…..I have no sarcastic come back…. you have a very valid point.

**HEY! THAT WAS A WEIRD CHAPTER! **

Renee:** YOU FORGOT NUMBER 8!**

**Me: I don't like number 8.**

Renee: **Why not?**

**Me:…. It's a cannibal… (7 ate 9)**

**MUHAHAHA im having a little bit to much fun now and im not even annoying people! but but! this is funny to right?**

**REVIEW!**

**LMSJM**


	21. FUNNY STORIES!

**Soo. I was looking at the "Renee" chapter and I decided that I would share a great key finder story! (stories)**

**So my mom is one of those moms who goes around the house all mad because she can't find her sunglasses and what not, yes they ended up being on her head the whole time. And she has a tendency to lose her keys... a lot... So she got a nifty key finder! She attaches it and has it for a month, so the batteries died. Time goes on and her, my brother, and I go to the furniture store. WE sat on like a million comfy chairs and stuff (we were there because the movers broke out entertainment system) and it gets late so we start heading out... My mom can't find her keys. So I suggest she use the key finder. However, she tells me not only has she lost the remote, but the thing that beeps that u put on your keys is broken too. So we go to our search to find those God forsaken keys. Now this was a pretty big furniture store, and they had like what? 200 chairs. Well us and the clerk went looking in each cushion. We were there for an hour, and my brother sat down to rest, he looks for a lever to recline and finds... yes my mothers keys... in a chair... closest to the door... **

**Here is another one: My mom went to the store with my little brother, well they finished their shopping and head out to the car. My mom is looking in her 10 pound purse for her keys, she can'f find them, so she starts searching for the remote for her key finder... yeah that was lost in the mess of her Mary Poppins bag as well. And yes... she was looking for her finder... Well they get to her car and she finds the remote and clicks the button. **

**Nothing happened. **

**She does it again.**

**Nothing.**

**My little brother looks in the car, probably imagining that they got in the car and were heading home so he could soon play his x-box. Well, guess what he sees in the front drivers seat, sitting there with the key finder flashing and buzzing. Yup, mommy's keys. So they had to have a cop come and break the lock so they could get in and go home. **

**So yes, there are many other stories like this. I could tell you about when I lost.. I'm sorry, "Lost" my dog. And I could tell you about when my mom lost her keys... well.. again...Next time I update I'll add a funny story at the end. **


End file.
